Day 8: Perspective.

Perspective:  Walk a mile in another person’s shoes.

Every person is going through a challenge, be it mentally, physically, financially and spiritually.  Per request of writer of this letter, I have edited out identifying aspects.  However, there are aspects we can relate to.  Even the aspects that we can’t relate to, we can put ourselves in this person’s shoes and ask ourselves; what would I do here?  Would I trade my challenges for this person’s challenges?  What can I learn from this person?

“Hi Kari:

My challenge today is a physical and mental healing needed. The physical is recovering from an injury ironically inflicted by one of my horses.  My error in judgment caused me to get into a situation that created my injury.  I was bringing the horses in at the end of the day and my QH gelding charged towards me wanting to be in first. He never behaved this way before – I guess he was anxious for the time I spend recently with his sister getting her tuned up for a show…the result was he ran me down and stepped on my leg (knee) causing ligament damage – the other injuries and bruising surfaced a couple of days later.  The body does not like being ground into gravel!

The mental challenge is my unemployment…I am working part-time consulting as a Food Safety Specialist teaching HACCP and Quality Management – however, those contracts are not coming frequently enough.  Working with an agency has helped and I get great feedback from the clients.  I have had successful interviews where I think I am a great fit – but it is hard to compare one’s ability to what you can’t see (the other candidates)…What I need is more work – I love to work at what I am doing now – most of the first interviews are by phone (the new standard) – so it is really hard to judge how people are receiving you.

When I am stressed mentally I usually can go for a ride – I have been enjoying the summer in between teaching stints and riding at the park – training my mare – and enjoying the gifts I have – my horses, the farm, my husband, supporting a friend who is being treated for pancreatic cancer helps me keep my perspective in check…until now.

I am frustrated my income is limited – I made a stupid error in judgment and got hurt – I can’t ride – I and can’t show the mare next weekend.  Yes, a pity party!   Then I get mad at myself for that too!

I think I am still hurting from being laid off from my job; hurting that I can’t get a new job; wondering what is being said about me in my professional connections; hurting physically and unable to help with work at home; hurting that I can’t relieve frustration by being with the horses….and to top it all experiencing insomnia due to menopause.

So Kari – what do you tell a woman as messed up as I?  Yes, I think about my friend again and say – “suck it up princess”


(Please watch/listen to the 2 video below and read comments made.



About Kari Arvisais

I have 25+ years experience in service to people, businesses, organizations and animals overcome problems, crisis, challenges and thrive.
This entry was posted in Encouragement, Positive healing effects of art, Positive healing effects of music and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Day 8: Perspective.

  1. Kari Arvisais says:

    Many readers have shared the challenges they face. Many readers have much in common, even though, we are all unique individuals. Thank you for having the courage to reach out and ask for help, to share your challenges. I am both sorry and grateful to hear that you are faced by many challenges in life. Sorry, because I never like seeing, knowing and witnessing people in pain, nor would I wish pain upon anyone. Grateful that you are faced with challenges because, when each of us is faced with a challenge, we are most likely to learn about ourselves, grow and change. You are showing yourself, me and the world that you have courage, you are tenacious and you will persevere despite these challenges you face. I guarantee your story will resonate with someone and spur them to take charge of their life, take positive actions and move beyond their obstacles.

    Everything in our lives teaches us about us. When I have been injured physically, mentally, spiritually, financially, I ask myself:
    What can I learn from this experience?
    What are the lessons here?
    What are the advantages and disadvantages of the situation I am now in?
    What can I change?

    It sounds like you and I are in the same boat, looking for work/paying opportunities, be it contract or on some employer’s payroll. It is never easy to be laid-off and/or terminated from an employer, I have been there. The harsh slam of reality as the boss gives us notice. The sting of the feeling rejected, feelings of shame that somehow we are being punished. The feelings of shame and humiliation, thinking we are not good enough to be included in the workforce of this company, like we have just been banished to “The Island of Misfits”. The embarrassment of the rejection, wondering what are the other coworkers thinking of my departure? These are all real and raw thoughts and feelings and reactions.

    The turning point is today. Yes, that’s right. Let go of theses self-sabotaging thoughts and feelings, they serve you no purpose. Imagine if you fell off your horse and just remained lying still on the ground, day after day, year after year, never moving from that position.

    At some point, I make a mental shift and change how I think because that is one thing I do have control over. When faced with rejection, move beyond feeling like; “Oh woe is me, I am not good enough, they don’t like me”, well, you know this song and dance. Think, tell yourself often, write it down; I deserve better, they did me a favor because I might have settled, I would not have taken a step back to learn my valuable life lessons. I might not have ever questioned my own values, choices, and behaviors had I not been faced with my own challenges.

    I believe that a wise man once said; there are 2 types of people in your life, those who support you and those who reject you. Thank them both.

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