What’s the difference?

A great question to learn more information, inspire, empower, use critical thinking skills, identify opportunities, challenge status quo, (What’s the difference?).  Recently, I was reminded of an experience from freshman year in college.  I had walked into my Sociology 101  lecture room.  My professor, Dr. Virgilio Zanin, who spoke with a wonderful Italian accent, which made me pay attention more to his spoken word.  He asked a question to jump-start a discussion.  The question was; what is the difference between Algebra 101 taught at Harvard and Algebra 101 taught at this college (U-Mass, Dartmouth)?  Many students commented how a person would be better off to learn Algebra 101 from Harvard because of the prestige.  A few students and I believed that it definitely would cost more to learn Algebra from Harvard.  Some students felt that the quality of Algebra being taught would be better at Harvard because, Harvard attracts better professors who get paid more, implying that a better paid professor teaches better.

The professor then asked us why we picked the college we were attending?  Almost all boiled down a financial choice.  Some students remarked that they weren’t smart enough to get into Harvard.

The professor noted that Algebra 101 was the same subject, no matter where it was taught.  The professor wanted us to observe, use critical thinking skills and question how we make assumptions, judgments, form our belief systems and values based upon our perceptions even if our perceptions are incorrect or misunderstood.

In this day of “keeping up with the Jones” and constant “one-up-man ship”, the question is very relevant.  What’s the difference?  Does it really matter where I was taught Sociology or Statistics, or Algebra?  Have we become such an EXCLUSIVE society that we can no longer communicate and build a relationship with another person unless we went to the same high school or college,  work in the same industry, “likes” the same people we do on Facebook or has a profile that aligns with our profile?  We are so “pixilated” on labels and status symbols to build a false sense of who we are and who we expect the other person to be.  It is so habitual and common-place to label and judge another person for whatever reason; most people are probably not aware how often we each set ourselves apart from another person.

Challenge yourself to continue asking what’s the difference?  Get to know people for their character and value that they bring to the world.  You will discover that every person is unique and every person strives for the same things in life; peace, love and happiness.

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Wake up call.

Ever find yourself saying “The world has gone crazy!”?

Do you ever wonder if we are trying to outlaw everything? Perhaps you think we don’t have enough laws?

The city I live in wants to outlaw homeless people sleeping on the streets and parks.  Of course, there are not enough beds in shelters to house them; however, some people think they are obstructing business.  So, when we don’t like someone, we either vote them off the island or make a law banning them from trespassing on my public right of way.  Hmmm, we can pass a law for homeless people obstructing pedestrian traffic, but we will not pass a law preventing people from “texting” while they drive at record speeds, a 2,000 pound hunk of metal containing flammable/explosive liquid.

But, this isn’t about people living on the streets because they are homeless or your right to text and drive.  This is about you and me, civility, respect of one another, waking up to the mess that we are all contributing to.    Each of us has to hold ourselves to a higher standard of our own behavior and how we treat each other.  It is time; this is your wake up call.

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Lead by example and be a catalyst for positive change.

Lead by example and be a catalyst for positive change.

Today, I recalled this poem “Comes the Dawn”.  The poem was first given to me in my freshman year of college years ago.  It still holds true in wisdom today.  Wow, how times have changed, and how many things stay the same.    No matter what I do or don’t do, I am judged and criticized by other people’s measuring sticks, and I know that you have experienced this too.

All of our lives are spent being judged and criticized by other people and by judging ourselves.  One lesson to learn is that as long as I choose to believe the other people, I will never measure up, because there are always people who will judge me.

We are not taught how to prevent escalating anger in ourselves and in others, to stand patiently or calmly walk away while another criticizes us in their judgment.  We are not taught how to not become reactionary and lash out at the person who is judging us.  We are not taught to communicate patient respect of another who has become emotionally volatile.  We are often not taught how to be accepting of each person.  Often times, we lose our patience and care of ourselves and the other person.  We lash out in our own judgment and criticism.  Justifying our reactions as acceptable because the other person struck first.  At the moment of reacting to another with the same  toxic judgment and criticism, we become part of the problem, rather than the solution.  If we want people to change, we have to lead by example and be the catalyst for positive change.

When you and I are being judged and criticized, it is an opportunity for each of us to take a step back and not react with judgment and criticism of the other person.  It is an opportunity for me to test my patience, grace under pressure, acceptance, the ability to let go of anger, self preservation, resilience, self respect and respect of the other person.  That is a tall order.  I can choose to react to the other person, lashing out in judgment and criticism of them or I can choose to rise above the judgments and criticisms.  I can lead by example and be a catalyst for positive change.

“Comes the Dawn”

“After a while you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
and company isn’t security.
(Kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises.)

After awhile you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes open,
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain
and the inevitable has a way of crumbling in mid-flight.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
if you stand too long in one place.

So, you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone else to bring you flowers.
And you learn you really can endure,
that you really do have worth.
You learn that with every good-bye comes the dawn.”

Author Unknown

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Never lose courage.

The news of continuous tornadoes demolishing entire communities across 10 states is so heart-breaking.  Some of these very same communities were hit last year in April, rebuilt their homes and businesses only to have another tornado take them out again.  I learned many years ago at a very young age, don’t ask why?  Yes, I know questions are good to ask and help us to understand the “what?” and “why?” of loss, tragedy, hardship.  Asking why, won’t help the effected people rebuild their homes, their communities, their lives.  They do not need to understand why the tornado happened to move forward with living moment by moment.

Instead, I ask myself;  how can I help?  What I can do today and everyday is to send all the people impacted by the tornadoes thoughts of courage, hope, perseverance, resilience.  Never lose courage.

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“What we have here is a failure to communicate”.

“What we have here is a failure to communicate”.  A famous quote from the movie: Cool Hand Luke.  In my professional and personal life, communication problems are the number #1 problem reported.  You would think with all the technology we have in the 21st Century, we should have communication mastered.  And yet, there is still a huge disconnect-and I am not just talking about a dropped cell phone call.   Think about your current and former work situations, and ask yourself; was there a communication problem?  Think about personal and professional relationships that you have, past and present.  Have you experienced communication problems?

I am going to go out on a limb here, I disagree with the quote;  “What we have here is a failure to communicate”.  What we have is a failure to listen and understand each other.

There is a lyric in the song: “Blowing in the wind” that sings; “How many ears must a man have before he can hear people cry?”

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Leaders come in all shapes, sizes, ages and colors.

Who are leaders that inspire you?  What qualities inspire you about the  leaders you admire?

Nick Vujicic

J.K. Rowling

Girl speaks the truth

Kermit

Women in history

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Resolution

Resolution:  Time to think outside the box and make it a Happy New Year.

What is one action you would do to make the world better?  I would like to teach the world to sing, just like the song sings about.  Music is a universal language and has the positive power to unite and heal people.  Happy New Year.



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The perfect gift.

The perfect gift.

In the holiday season and throughout the year, we lose sight of what is really important.  I hear stories of people not getting the gift that they want for Christmas.  A mother, who maced people at a store on “Black Friday”, to get to an electronic toy for her kids.  People complaining about what gift cards to give, what is acceptable and not acceptable?  How much should we spend, who should we give gifts to?  When did the holiday season turn into something like a birthday party for a spoiled kid who wants everything?

It is something you can’t buy in the store or online.  There is no “app” for it. You don’t have to worry about the right size or color or return policy.  It is a gift you can give to anyone and everyone.  It is free to give, yet this gift is priceless.  The perfect gift; PEACE, LOVE and HAPPINESS everyday.

Happy Holidays.

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Stop…Look…Listen….

Stop…Look…Listen….

The words we speak do make a difference.  If it were your last day on Earth, what would you say?  What are you waiting for?  Make a difference in the words you say.  The world could use more peace, love and happiness.

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The positive healing effects of combining music with performance art.

The positive healing effects of combining music with performance art.

Music and art can empower your mind, body, heart and soul.

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